Snouts tuck in as billions starve

You're not going to find much photographic evidence of the nosebag and banquet our great leaders had to make do with in Japan this week. Type "G8" into google and you get some flash car. Type 3g8 banquet" and nothing. On TV, there's no prying into OGL's noshing their greedy mushes for the cameras. It'd be bad for publicity given the current circumstances.

According to Patrick Wintour in the Guardian, though, it was a right royal knees up. Even here at the New labour rag, a bit of criticism had to be aired, us proles have got to let off steam some how. Even so, the article isn't that hard hitting. Sure there's this, "The most powerful bellies in the world were last night compelled to stave off the great Hokkaido Hunger by fortifying themselves with an eight-course, 19-dish dinner prepared by 25 chefs. This multi-pronged attack was launched after earlier emergency lunch measures - four courses washed down with Château-Grillet 2005 - had failed to quell appetites enlarged by agonising over feeding the world's poor."

But yuk Château-Grillet 2005, I mean 2005. . .quelle horreur. The whole trough set us all back just the 238 million quid for what, a whole week is it? They must be working up quite an appetite, what with all that bullshit they have to keep repeating. So we musn't begrudge them the "[h]airy crab Kegani bisque-style soup was another treat in a meal prepared by the Michelin-starred chef Katsuhiro Nakamura, the grand chef at Hotel Metropolitan Edmont in Tokyo, alongside salt-grilled bighand thornyhead (a small, red Pacific fish) with a vinegary water pepper sauce." (Fckng what - "hairy crab"? Sounds like something you might pick up after an unedifying episode in a Yorkshire alleyway of a Saturday night).

Whilst the poor of the world are advised to sit tight, be patient and starve quietly, Gordo, Sarko, the chimp and his gang of lice slobbered up ". . . dishes including milk-fed lamb, roasted lamb with cepes, and black truffle with emulsion sauce. Finally there was a "fantasy" dessert, a special cheese selection accompanied by lavender honey and caramelised nuts, while coffee came with candied fruits and vegetables." (Yeh me too but once you'd burnt Bush's testicles and caramelised the nuts of all the other blokes there - what to do with merkel in these PC times?)

You have to ask, what is the point of all this vulgarity and bad taste? Have these tools never heard of the phone, skype, video conference technology? Clearly, the purpose of it all is to rub it in to the dispossesed, to be role models to the business class morons who support them and to live it up at the taxpayers' expense whilst they can. because they're not in the slightest bit concerned about the world's problems, about the millions sliding to hell in a handcart in the 'developing' parts of the world or the recently and soon-to-be homeless in the west. It really is all about them. This is their Cannes, their World Cup, their beauty parade - and they have won and they want us to know it. They have gulled, lied and burrowed their way to the top of the festering compost heap and they're not going to let anyone spoil their pleasure. In an update of Marie Antionette, they're going to all eat the cake too.

But not so harsh not so harsh! They are entombed in a parasitic universe, as much prisoners of it as those at the opposite end of the spectrum dying of hunger by a dusty roadside in Africa somewhere and need social change to rescue what parts of them are still human. Smash capitalism for their sakes too. The food they eat, like that of Damocles, will taste of dust given the magnitude of their crimes that haunt their nightmares, the sights they see will be blank spectacle emptied of meaning by guilt and the fear of retribution and the fawning journalists, business mogols and other slobbering sychophants that swarm and hover about them will appear as puppeted clowns given the dread that gnaws at their collective G8 guts.

But, what am I saying? Sorry. Look, I've just got back from seeing some freinds and I'm in a too good a mood, a too goddamned liberal mood - - what's this, " rescue them"?" resuce them? "...for their sakes too"? "human"? human? Am I blind? What I meant to say of course was "Hang 'em! Hang the wretched lot of them!"

After constructing a socialist and peaceful world of course.